Now you may be thinking? Hold it? Hold what? Uber trendy eco friendly tote bags expressing the hippest cause of the moment? Nope. Your bladders my dearest hipsters.
Think back throughout the many helpful tips we have provided and you will come to the conclusion that hipsters dig the layers. Tank tops, on buttons downs, on sweaters, on tights, on knee highs, on skirts, and about a thousand scarves. Sounds about right. But then comes the moment when you are sitting casually in some abandoned warehouse sipping on PBR and chain smoking (ciggs are a diuretic) and you think "oh damn. I have to PEE!" And by the time you magically get yourself to a bathroom (aka a sketchy alley where you have decided to pop-a-squat) and you realize how many godforsaken layers you have to strip off before you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
What could be a 2 minute event has become a minimum of a 10 minute struggle involving a lot of core strength and undressing-redressing. So what do we do? Refuse to layer ourselves like homeless people? But how will people know the sheer variety of hip that our wardrobes contain? There are pills and stuff that truckers take to make those stretches of highway longer... but that seems terribly unnatural. If you happen to have an extra appendage (i'm looking at you fellas) than a stadium buddy can solve all your issues. Of course you run the risk of people thinking you are suffering from a violent allergic reaction in your calf or possibly the irritation that an adhesive condom might provide.... but hipstah status ain't easy.
Unfortunately we have to wait till the warmer months when the biggest issue becomes a romper with a tricky series of buttons... until then mark your exits clearly and don't forget to go before you leave the house. Maybe try a more substantial drink than flat light beer that'll do the job quicker too.
Learn to hold it my trendy minions. Our apathetic appearances are totally ruined when we're plagued by natural urges - we aren't real people. As Tim Gun would say, "make it work."
Happy travels,
Thanks to Kendall for the tip submission. Your struggles have not been for nothing.
Think back throughout the many helpful tips we have provided and you will come to the conclusion that hipsters dig the layers. Tank tops, on buttons downs, on sweaters, on tights, on knee highs, on skirts, and about a thousand scarves. Sounds about right. But then comes the moment when you are sitting casually in some abandoned warehouse sipping on PBR and chain smoking (ciggs are a diuretic) and you think "oh damn. I have to PEE!" And by the time you magically get yourself to a bathroom (aka a sketchy alley where you have decided to pop-a-squat) and you realize how many godforsaken layers you have to strip off before you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
What could be a 2 minute event has become a minimum of a 10 minute struggle involving a lot of core strength and undressing-redressing. So what do we do? Refuse to layer ourselves like homeless people? But how will people know the sheer variety of hip that our wardrobes contain? There are pills and stuff that truckers take to make those stretches of highway longer... but that seems terribly unnatural. If you happen to have an extra appendage (i'm looking at you fellas) than a stadium buddy can solve all your issues. Of course you run the risk of people thinking you are suffering from a violent allergic reaction in your calf or possibly the irritation that an adhesive condom might provide.... but hipstah status ain't easy.
Unfortunately we have to wait till the warmer months when the biggest issue becomes a romper with a tricky series of buttons... until then mark your exits clearly and don't forget to go before you leave the house. Maybe try a more substantial drink than flat light beer that'll do the job quicker too.
Learn to hold it my trendy minions. Our apathetic appearances are totally ruined when we're plagued by natural urges - we aren't real people. As Tim Gun would say, "make it work."
Happy travels,
Thanks to Kendall for the tip submission. Your struggles have not been for nothing.
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