Tip #22: YOU are not Salvador Dali, sorry

Oh my non-existant LORD! WHY, pray tell, do I still see the creeper Dali 'staches everywhere? If any of you are slightly cocking your head to the side in confusion I mean moustaches crafted in the style of...


This guy.

I will say this once and only once. Salvador Dali is the only person who can pull that off because he was a talented genius and NOT a scrawny Vice magazine subscriber who has not contributed anything to today's culture. Was that harsh? Good. So is looking at your greasy/sculpted moustache.

Like, seriously. I can't not look at it. But more often than not, a Dali 'stache will grace the oily face of a thin lipped Hipster male who is channeling more of John Waters look than Dali. I get that when this trend first BOOMED like the festering plague that it is, it was "ZOMG so ironic it huuuuuuurts." But, the very small window of time allotted for that fad to come and leave is over and I really can't believe how many ironic mustaches are still out there. I am fine with the regular "razors aren't my style so Imma let this thing above my lip grow" mustaches - fine do it. See if I care. But if you are in any way styling your facial hair - STOP STOP STOP!!! It's tacky and I hate you.

Love,

Vice is TOTALLY Mainstream

Sorry Hipsters, it seems as though another one of your precious publications has taken the leap from run-down and shabby to mainstream. The company in question is Vice Media, the publishers of Vice Magazine.

Now, I may dig myself a little ditch here by bring up my familiarity with the magazine... but oh well. When I worked at American Apparel (yeah... more like a grave than a ditch - I'M SORRY!!) we had to lay out all the free copies of Vice monthly. And those suckers were snatched up in the blink of any eye! Then again, I was working in Brooklyn... an American Apparel in Brooklyn. Free copies of Vice didn't stand a chance. Regardless, I often read the magazine because it was free and available. Between spreads of half clothed women and what appeared to be the GREASIEST party photos ever, I found some worthwhile reads. Two favorites of mine:

1. The Eyes Have it - girls talking about what it's like to wear the Niqab 
2. Hock Talk - read all about pawn shops in different cities... some really weird stories there

But, now... it's going to be a much different magazine.

Too funny

Columbia and I were stopped walking out of our dorm by a girl who wanted to post a photo of us on her fashion blog. I debated whether or not to share this information but it's too damn funny! Here we are bashing an entire community of trendy mo fo's - and when we get complimented on being hip we turn into these blushing/we're-full-of-awesome-high hypocriiiitezzzz.