Spanking New

Hello world. I cleaned up the front page of the Tumblr site so GO CHECK IT OUT! It's pretty simple, looks like a notebook, and i'm not quite happy with it yet. But hopefully Columbia can take a swing at it. Anyhoo, enjoy!

A BIG THANKS to Nikki Brion for the theme! The header and additions were made by me.

Just a Hipster Tipster

Although this particular version of the site is our mother ship of sorts, we often just post some random findings on the Tumblr version of the site. It's only because Tumblr is a bit more convenient to reblog a funny post or update with something we thought you all would like - and quickly. Any life changing events involving this blog will most certainly be posted here. It's just a little harder to update Blogger with all the random tidbits that float into our minds, and not have it be a process. Even this small post is taking waaaay longer than Tumblr.

And don't forget the Hipster Survival Guide's Twitter. I've been making a real effort to update it pretty often, so go ahead - follow us. What could go wrong? You'll find a link to hipster hilarity? And we want your input, we LOVE input. I realize that if Columbia and I want this project of ours to be any good we have to dedicate a little more time and not just go on blogging/tweeting binges.

We'll try to be better!

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You can find us at:
Hipster Survival @ Tumblr.com
Hipster Survival @ Twitter.com

See you there.

Tip #19: Hipsters gotta hold it

Now you may be thinking? Hold it? Hold what? Uber trendy eco friendly tote bags expressing the hippest cause of the moment? Nope. Your bladders my dearest hipsters.
Think back throughout the many helpful tips we have provided and you will come to the conclusion that hipsters dig the layers. Tank tops, on buttons downs, on sweaters, on tights, on knee highs, on skirts, and about a thousand scarves. Sounds about right. But then comes the moment when you are sitting casually in some abandoned warehouse sipping on PBR and chain smoking (ciggs are a diuretic) and you think "oh damn. I have to PEE!" And by the time you magically get yourself to a bathroom (aka a sketchy alley where you have decided to pop-a-squat) and you realize how many godforsaken layers you have to strip off before you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

What could be a 2 minute event has become a minimum of a 10 minute struggle involving a lot of core strength and undressing-redressing. So what do we do? Refuse to layer ourselves like homeless people? But how will people know the sheer variety of hip that our wardrobes contain? There are pills and stuff that truckers take to make those stretches of highway longer... but that seems terribly unnatural. If you happen to have an extra appendage (i'm looking at you fellas) than a stadium buddy can solve all your issues. Of course you run the risk of people thinking you are suffering from a violent allergic reaction in your calf or possibly the irritation that an adhesive condom might provide.... but hipstah status ain't easy.

Unfortunately we have to wait till the warmer months when the biggest issue becomes a romper with a tricky series of buttons... until then mark your exits clearly and don't forget to go before you leave the house. Maybe try a more substantial drink than flat light beer that'll do the job quicker too.

Learn to hold it my trendy minions. Our apathetic appearances are totally ruined when we're plagued by natural urges - we aren't real people. As Tim Gun would say, "make it work."

Happy travels,

Thanks to Kendall for the tip submission. Your struggles have not been for nothing.

Gaddafi Can Hipster and So Can You

Why hello my precious little hipsters,

Now, I realize that Columbia and I have had an inexcusably long hiatus and, as my communications class constantly reminds me, a good blog must stay updated. LO SIENTO! Not that any of you are too cut up about it, the American Spirit ya'll puffed away on in anticipation of an update has surely ashed into nothingness by now - I kid.

Anyway, I realized an inherent problem with the type of posts Columbia and I have been writing... they all "have" to be advice/tips. Now, I'm going to be honest, often my tips are born out of inspiration from every day happenings - watching a hipster struggle with the various safety pins holding his/her garment together or every so often smiling as I see a pair of over the knee socks strut on pass me. So what do we do? Let this blog wither away into nothingness and collect dust on the virtual shelf in the Internet's creepy basement? NO!! So basically I'm just gonna post all things hipster and tease 'em till I start to feel mean.

Are we all on board? Any questions?

Anyway, just recently I was trying to be a good journalism major and decided to check up on the world. Of course all the nitty gritty facts barely had time to register before I made an outstanding realization. Muammar Gaddafi is a hipster.

Tip #17: Have indie fresh New Years plans

Nothing is more boring than a hipster with plans to ring in the new year that are either cliché without the ironic undertones or just plain lame. Going to Times Square with your family in matching sweaters that loudly express it's the "Johnston's Family Reunion" - hell no. Sitting in your friend's basement sneaking champagne from their parent's new year's party? Also, a negative. You gotta mix things up! In other words...

It's time to party! But in style children. It's only going to turn 2011 once so why not take the time and care to celebrate it as any good hipster would? And here are some tips to let you know you're celebrating new year's correctly.

Tip #16: Money makes the world go 'round

Wow. Hello friends, it has been FAR too long. Life has just been too much for me to handle. Nevertheless, I’ve returned back to planet earth and have no excuse not to blog anymore. So without further ado:

Tip #16: Get $$ (and lots of it)

Seriously, if daddy has cut you off or he was never providing for you in the first place then you have two choices: get a job or accept your mainstream status. As much as we like to complain about how we have no money to our names, it just isn’t true. Hipsters can’t be hip without adequate funding. Every five minutes something you’re interested in becomes mainstream and something even more obscure takes its place. Your interests are CONSTANTLY changing, and whether you like it or not, it costs some serious cash money to keep up.

Let me break it down for y’all:

Tip #15: Cut the Cape

Here in not-so-sunny NYC the snow is finally upon us and it has made me start to reconsider the current coat I have. It's not that my peacoat doesn't satisfy all my hipster needs, but the abnormally windy winter is proving to be too harsh for my flimsy coat. And as I searched for the perfect replacement I kept coming across one item in particular. CAPES! WTF? Capes, really? I mean, I know vintage is our thing ya'll but I really think fashion circa the late 1800's is pushing it. Of course there are a few professions that can pull it off… the only ones that come to mind are superheroes, magicians, and burlesque performers… but I still count them (you do you).

Really, I think what peeves me is the fact that all the women (who are often of the hipster variety) I see sporting capes are actually choosing fashion over warmth. I mean, call me old fashioned, but I kind of like strolling every so often or not having to resort to drive thru everything just because I am too cold to leave my seat warmers (not that I drive or anything… sigh). I can't even imagine the draft you must get in a cape.


i mean just look at this cape: